New Air Rules Ban Extra Laptop, Phone Batteries
In a move set to outrage flying nerds everywhere, the FAA recently released new guidelines blocking the carrying-on of extra lithium-ion, alkaline and nickel metal-hydride batteries.
“It will be a nightmare for passengers,” said George Kerschner, who runs the DC based Portable Rechargeable Battery Association, and seems to have a very wide definition of the word “nightmare.” He cautioned that the regulation will cause people to have to ship their batteries ahead of them (instead of just…checking them), adding, “We’re talking about billions of dollars.”
Kerschner went on to yell, “YOU WILL LIVE TO REGRET THIS!” before blasting off in an escape pod to his island fortress made out of batteries.
The full text of the Department of Transportation’s proposal can be viewed online – there’s also a comment section where you can deposit your rage. Kerschner has left several threatening comments on that page, which include:
- “GIVE ME BATTERIES OR GIVE ME DEATH!”
- NO EXTRA BATTERIES ON FLIGHTS = HITLER
- IF I CAN’T BRING EXTRA BATTERIES ON MY PLANE, THEN THAT IS JUST A SITUATION THAT I HATE
- FAA = FRIGGING ASSHOLES…ASSHOLES
Kerschner then went on to weep uncontrollably into a pile of batteries.
Source: PC World
